I Read The Entire Mueller Report

A citizens summary and key takeaways from the controversial investigation

I read the entire Mueller report. That includes both volumes, the executive summaries, the table of contents, and the appendices. While I didn’t read the appendices word for word, I did a scan on just about every page. On top of reading the report, I also read some of the popular analysis on CNN and FoxNews, and I watched a few pundits discuss and debate the report. The following is my citizens summary of the Mueller report, of which I have broken down into six key takeaways.

First, the Mueller report clearly explains that the office of the president is no longer important because almost no one actually listens to or does what the president says. In other words, America is able to function without a president.

Second, the report clearly paints Washington D.C. as the central bank for global political capital, and therefore, foreign interests, corporate interests, religious interests, and anyone else that has an interest, uses D.C. as a place to vie for influence. In other words, Washington D.C. is the main venue for power brokers that work with the American political machine. According to the report, the capital of the United States is actually not functioning as the capital of the nation, but instead serves as a marketplace for trading favors and exchanging political capital. America is, therefore, functioning without a working capital city or a president.

Third, President Donald Trump is paranoid, emotional, and makes rash decisions. He also does not listen to his advisors. Trump is convinced that many people are out to get him, and he believes this because he thinks that he has superpowers. Trump is effectively a little boy who was told by his mother that he is special, and therefore he needs to be careful of other people who will be jealous of his specialness.

Fourth, Trump tried to illegally stop a perfectly valid investigation that was looking at Russian meddling into US elections, however, no one followed the president's orders. Trump was, therefore, unable to commit the crimes that he intended to because no one listened to him. Trump may go down in history as one of the most ineffective gangsters in America. Trump may also become the first dictator of America, as the report clearly illustrates his propensity for dishonor and seizing power.

Fifth, President Trump and his family committed no crime or conspiracy regarding collusion during or after the election. Jared Kushner largely dismissed the Russian attempt at influencing the Trumps as a waste of time. The primary reason that no crime was committed was because the Russians didn’t actually have anything of value to offer the Trumps. The report describes a situation however where the Trumps probably would have committed a crime if the Russians did, in fact, have something to offer.

Sixth, and most importantly, is that people need to let go of political concern, and stop enabling the media to create a political shit show for entertainment purposes. The Mueller report clearly describes a political environment where the entire federal government system is corrupt, broken, and staffed by droves of lunatics driven only by their own self-interests. The report also makes it clear that Trump is not unique, and therefore if you don’t like Donald Trump, you also shouldn’t like anyone else in Washington D.C.

In summary, the Mueller report tells Americans that their federal government is broken and needs to replaced.

BLUNTING THE TRUTH, BLUNTLY — Award winning bullshit artist

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store